NEEDS PICS Friday the 13th: The Series S1E12

 Previously on Friday the 13th: The Series

Now: Episode 12 "Faith Healer"

Directed by: David Cronenberg (!!!)

Guest Stars: Miguel Fernandes

Cursed Object of the Week:

Some kind of church service s in motion but it doesn't look like just any 'ol regular church service. There is a crowd on the ground level where some are in wheel chairs and others have more noticeable conditions. One gentleman in a wheelchair appears next to the speaker in which he spills the tea on his condition mainly that he is blind as a bat. 

This faith healer guy does his schtick where he sensationalizes the awesome power of god that will heal him in front of an audience perching from the 2nd floor looking below. He yells to jeebus to help this man as he places his hands on his head. 

A man steps out from the crowd and questions...well, everything. Brave man. This fuckass faith healer does swift damage control and brands his nay sayer as an embodiment of the work of the devil which everybody obviously eats it up. The naysayer claims that he is the one who can heal him, if this lad claims to be "blind". He places some choice fingetips on him and removes a contact lense, exposing the fool.

The faith healer steps out in a huff with this man holds up the contact lens to show the audience and pleads them to not throw their hard earned money to this charlatan but rather to medical research that actually does efforts for such things.

The now charlatan flees the building while this is all happening but some of his followers/haters (not too sure) immediately spot him in the darkness of the night which makes his grand escape rather cumbersome if I do say so myself.

He runs into a dark alley where he breathes a sigh of relief as he sits in the lovely aroma of eau de garbage when he spots something. This little trash digger of a man spots a white glove that he slips on without even thinking about where's been (ya nasty!) he giggles like a little school girl.

He gets knocked out by a woman who is on crutches and has some facial deformities. In anger she said he promised to cure him so WTF! He tries to pitifully say it was god's will for her to live this way but as she lunges for him again, she falls downs and the dood puts his nasty ass glove hand on her face.

Aaaand what do ya know she is totes cured now. Woop! Woop! 

Shocked at it, he manages to run while she is too busy ruminating.

Meanwhile, he continues to stumble further along but he gets hit with an immediate shooting of pain in his hand. As he picks up his hand to inspect, the glove how seems to be attaching itself to him! He tries to lift it up and holy fucking hell it's bloody and graphic...heh Cronenberg omg ILY. Anyway the dude's winces in pain catches the attention of a nearby police officer who comes up to him. When he gets at a close distance the touches the glove on the officer's face and he flops to the ground and presumably dies.

And there he goes running off in the night.

Speaking of night, Micki and Ryan are at Curious Goods trying to get reception on their box TV (probably these lazy ass Gen X's never had to worry about. LOL JK!) When they finally get reception, it's to the aforementioned Faith Healer on one of his segments which Micki is disgusted over but Ryan persuades her to keep it on the channel.

Faith healer is just so extra which drives Micki bananas and forces him to change this shit already. Ryan proceeds to record it on VHS and in walks Jack who watches a glimpse of the TV. Oh god, this fuck ass healer is holding the white glove while he is describing how it burns and sears his flesh but of course the audience would interpret this as metaphorical. He continues to be a drama queen detailing his oh so tribulations he has to go through in order to heal people.

Jack opens up a book and confirms the glove as he personally recognized it - as in he actually had it in his possession from Rome that he brought when he was in merchin marine. According to the book this glove is suppose to provide "good health for the ruling families". He wasn't even sure if the glove really does what it does but apparently it does, but at what cost?

They arrive at the church (or building whatevs) Ryan and Micki wait outside meanwhile Jack sneaked inside but was caught trying to lockpick the faith healer's office. He immediately gets thrown out so Plan A is busted so now they need to concoct a Plan B.

Ryan wants to mask as a visitor in need on behalf of his sick aunt. They both wait just outside the backdoor waiting for the d00d to come out and get hot on his tail to see where exactly he runs off to. He is too ninja for them so they both agree to split to cover some more ground. 

Meanwhile in another area a woman has her dog run off and what do ya know? Mr. white suit guy catches little poopsie. The woman reaches for her dog which she becomes another unfortunately victim of ze white glove. Brutal, bro.

The guy sees his fleshy hand gets restored back to the white glove as the woman expires. So that's usually how it works, huh? 

Ryan and Micki catch back up to each other with no leads but they hear the dog's whimpering and follow the noise only to find the dead ass woman and revolt in horror.

Meeting back at Curious Goods and relaying what they discovered, Jack comes to the conclusion that this glove absorbs the victim's affliction and transfers it in a more palatable effect to a person to benefit.

Jack has a feeling he knows the person who can help but he is adamant that he must go alone due to the guy's rather peculiar personality. So he sets off.

It's Jerry!

The naysayer. They greet each other like old pals in the bunker. He asks how 'ol Jerry is which he proudly says oh not much just 400 frauds and sweetens the pot like a lil extortion so he can personally benefit. Yeah, that last part is not Jack's cup of tea exactly but eh...lesser of 2 evils.  

Fun Fact: The guest star in this episode, Robert A. Silverman has previously been in the episode "Hate on the Dial" as a different character. Important to note that David Cronenberg directed this episode coupled with the fact that Silverman has appeared in many of Cronenberg's movies! The more you know. Needless to say, he asks what brings him here today.

It appears that a year has passed since Jerry exposed Stewart Fishoff, which is the name of the faith health that I will now refer to as such for the rest of this episode. Jack whips out a tape that they watch together and holy fucks guys this shit looks so corny I literally can't even.

There's really not that many that Jack, Ryan nor Micki reveal to people about these cursed objects but Jack seems to actually trust Jerry so he actually tells him that that white glove is cursed as fuck. Jerry doesn't bat an eye even tries to play devil's advocate for a hot second and asks how bad can it be? Bad affects? Watch me bend dis spoon! He initializes that it's more like the power of suggestive persuasion but regardless, he will see what he can do to.

What he do? Well he goes to the man himself to give him a little congrats on his up and up success. Fish guy doesn't seem to take this in stride and has an obvious grudge against him for all the humiliation he put him through. Jerry is still blunt and continues to call him out on his baloney and claims he can be able to prove it for good. 

Fishoff is like OK bro.

Back in the bunker, Jerry tells Jack that he a plan set in motion and found a legit terminally ill person that agreed to accept this mission. Jack doesn't like this idea one bit but Jerry is a bit unorthodox and it A-OK for a little collateral damage. Jack is just like 😱😧😠 This ain't gucci, Jerry.

The more that Jack shows how revolted he is at his plan, Jerry reveals that he is actually the terminally ill patient and shows him his grotesque ass boils and shit. DISGUSTANG! Jack pleads with him to please not go through with his plan as it is hella unethical but he is not being swayed one bit. He is pretty dead set on going through with this plan. He points gun at Jack.

Micki is anxious about not hearing back and worried something must be wrong but Ryan assures her that he knows what he is doing and just trust. 

Panning back to the bunker poor Jack is shown tied up now shocked that his buddy turned on him. Nothing he says is deterring Jerry and further says that after all these years bicking about the supernatural that hoping that for once that this healer can actually heal. Then he closes the vault and skips away.

Fish man gets called up and actually agrees to meet Jerry in his bunker. He notices that he doesn't have the glove immediately on him but regardless, get to healing. He didn't seem to think he was being for real but yeah...he for real boi so he whips out his glove from his pocket and says he's going to heal him up real good.

More unknown time has passed and now Ryan is the one panicking so they both agree to go look for him. Good thing they still have physical address books (this was in the 80s, afterall) because Ryan got Jack's address book so BINGO! Hurry up and save Jack now.

Fishy d00d puts on the glove and says that yeah, he will heal him and all...after he gets on his old man knees and proclaim that he believes. Jerry yells he believes but interestingly to note, the gloved hand is actually not touching his head, he is holding his gloved hand up for some reason and BOOP! Be cured, biznatch.

Jerry quickly realizes he still has those boils on his chest which Fishy says

"Oof. Wrong hand. Maybe next time, bruh."

He has a shit eating smirk on his face on what he accomplished and tucks that glove back in and motions his way out of the bunker. Not so fast, sucka. Jerry whips out his gun and says 

"Heal meh or I'll keel you!"

I guess he didn't anticipate that, eh? He fires a warning shot in the ceiling which alert his 1 only associate so he comes in to see WTF is going on but Jerry shoots him dead so Fish man takes his opportunity to make a dash out of there which leads to a pursuit. He later shoots him dead when he reaches his car. Or so he thought.

In the front seat, he takes out his white glove to heal himself and proceeds to drive off.  However, the glove doesn't seem instantly effective. His erratic driving while writhing in pain causes him to crash his car in a very unfortunate spot. He eventually gets healed and we know that much because the white glove is fleshy glove. 

Jerry catches up to the car and crawls on the hood towards him. He has his fleshy hand glove out reaching through a crack of the window pleading for help but nah...he just watches.

It turns out that he needs to immediately cause affliction to someone but he apparently didn't and phantom bullets riddle his body and now he dedz. Was that his plan all along? That's gold, Jerry!

So he returns to the bunker to "free" Jack but hey well ya look at that, he has already freed himself. Jerry must've not watched Episode 6 when Jack said he was involved in the magic community. Anyway, Jack sees that he has the glove and concludes that the faith health Fish is dead but that means that the trouble is not over quite yet. He still plans to heal himself but he needs Jack to complete the healing.

Oh noes.

To his great delight, the glove does indeed heal him but he lunges for Jack for his fleshy glove and says he's sorry and all but TAKE ONE FOR TEAM! Jack is horrified and tries to run but in this shitty ass bunker, he's pretty limited. When he is within arm's distance, Jack manages to grab Jerry's arm and forcibly bends it to touch his own face and....

ew.

Glove giveth de glove taketh away.

Jerry succumbs to his injuries with his dying words, "Pray for me, Jack."

Just as this is happening, Ryan and Micki get on the scene and witness the tail end of that altercation. The glove restores to white and all is well with the world.

Still on the bunker, they all go through the late dead man's things and finds some information on an unrelated cursed item, a cape in particular but quickly notices Jack ain't about that right at this moment. He is still reeling the friends he makes. First Lewis for attaining all the items he worked hard to get only for him to make a deal with the devil to make those items cursed and now Jerry uses one of those items to kill him. That's not kind, Jerry.

Micki can't even let the man grieve because she starts talking shit saying that they all had to sacrifice something around here. Whoa, there Micki! Ryan has to come in to mediate the situation and tells her to have some empathy, dammit. Plus, Jack has them 2 as friends to cheer up!

Things calm down and they back to their chatter like 'ol pals.

Duh End.

Episode 13 is next.