Alfred Hitchcock Presents S1E4
Previous story
A man named Frank comes home from a long day. Upon entering the front door, he can't help but crack a dad joke when his wife, Mildred, greets him. It's a classic welcome home kind of thing where she just spoils the husband rotten for the audacity for having a sparkling clean home and a dinner neatly set at the table. Fred turns the tables and decides to give HER the grand news that he got a new job as a salaried salesman with a commission. The happiness is abruptly cut short because he reveals that his first day on the job won't be until next month and guess what?
That shit ain't going to fly for dear 'ol because they gots bills to pay. Whatever ever will they do in the mean time? The wife reveals that the landlord called and said if they don't have the rent by Monday, they will be evicted. The struggle is real, yo.
As you can see, they are an older 50s couple and here they are struggling. Frank laments that he's age is not doing him any favors either. As his wife joins him at the table, she makes an offhand remark that at least they have their life insurance premiums should anything happen to either one of them.
RECORD SCRATCH!
Yes. But yeah wifey says he means more to her than measily money anyways. She doesn't want him to die anyway. Now THIS is when the real light bulb goes off in Frank's head.
He thinks out loud that perhaps he can get the insurance money payout and none of them has to die to get it. By "them" he means just her. He sparks the narcisstic idea for her to fake her death so he can totally be the only one to benefit. She immediately scoffs at the idea as it is unethical and besides, you can not at all fool the insurance company. As if they haven't dealt with such a situation before...
Frank oh Frank wears off the wifey down and gets her to agree to "vanish" for 7 years so that she can be declared missing and he gets mad bank. Still skeptical as fuck eventually agrees.
7 years is an awefully long time but she eventually comes around by thinking as this situation as a glass half full. She can use this opportunity to reinvent herself. Get the prescription glasses she always wanted, dye her hair to a new "hip" color and maybe even finally get a job, change her name and all that jazz. Now she is hyped as fuck at this new opportunity. Wifey is in!!
The plans are set in motion that will board a bus and mysteriously go missing in transit to her sister for her usual visit. But wait, sissy usually picks her up. Franks says not to worry so he dials up the sister's husband to let her know Mildred has errands to run to avoid picking her up. Turns out, sissy already left town as she is already on her way to pick Mildred up. Frank is mad as fuck that Mildred has such a caring sister. All is not lost, they can still continue their plan but they have to act fast. Both are out in the door lickity split.
Frank drops Mildred off at the train station and they don't exactly have a heartfelt goodbye because he probably thinks that if wifey hesitates, that she will never leave so he just tells her to GTFO of his car.
It is now night time and as Frank is pulling in to his driveway, he notices that Mildred's sister has beat him to his own house! So he leaps out of his car and sneaks in his own house through the back door and eventually answers the door to a very annoyed woman. Once he relayed the news that she took the bus she is totes unamused that she wasted all that gas for nothing. She turns heel and fucks off.
A few days later is when Frank reports his wife missing. There is an investigator who is taking notes on his version of events. He is automatically skeptical due to the sister in law reporting that Frank has dirt stains on his clothes. Yeah...the goofball tripped in his garden while trying to make a mad dash back in his house. Frank has a perfect alibi by saying he loves...gardening. Insurance dude is still not buying it but he is not a police officer just a guy taking an insurance claim so he is powerless. Before he takes his leave he makes his suspicions known. Frank is le shocked.
Me? Killing my wife? Well, I never!
The next day Frank notices the investigator has brought some pals to dig up his garden thinking he buried the wife there. Frank is like 'bitch you are ruining mah roses! Fuck you."
He goes inside his house and of course this dude welcomes himself in the house as well. The phone rings and bruhhhh it's Mildred on the phone so now Frank has to play it cool in front of him. Mildred is very distraught and it's only been like a week but Frank is forced to give her the cold shoulder and tries to hurry up and get off the phone but agrees to meet up with her.
That nosy little fucker was close enough to hear it was a woman's voice so he continues his interrogation on what exactly that female voice on the phone was exactly? Frank plays it cool and says it was just a friend of their. Despite catching his slips of words he knows he still does not have any hard evidence so he eventually sees himself out because he's confident he will legit slip up with hard evidence sooner or later.
Not too long later, Frank meets up with Mildred in top secret at a library. They both talk through the bookshelves inconspicuously at a meager attempt to at least. She dearly misses his hubby but he relays that it's HOT meaning this is sending all kind of alarm bells and immediately follows up with that this will probably be the last they can meet. Mildred is heavily distressed asking where the fuck will she go. He says just do it and leaves she crying at the library.
Looks like some years has passed and as he is sitting in his living room on Christmas Eve (I think) he receives a collect call from California, which is where Mildred has hid off in. He says that he plans to make a surprise visit to see her IRL. He flies out first thing in the morning and he has the perfect Christmas present for her. She is extremely elated!!!
Literally the second that Frank steps out on his way to the airport, none other appears than Mr. Investigator. It's been a handful of months last he bugged him so what better time than Christmas Eve?!?! He says what better time that Christmas for him to sneak out to see his loved one. Wow how accurate this big boy is but Frank keeps up with his lies and tells him to fuck off. Alas, he is like a that annoying fly who will just never die...oops bad joke here. Frank says that his present in his hands is for the sister in law and Mr. Investigator is like "Hmm mind if I tag along?". Well, fuck.
What a sad scene. Mildred is there waiting at a restuarant that Frank previously said he will meet her at and obviously he never made his flight. She is depressed AF. Motherfucka stood her up.
Now, years have passed at this point and we know this as Frank is sitting at his desk looking at this insurance checks.
His hair is now greying and aging hardcore. Mr. Investigator once again rings the doorbell. Despite him noting the lengthy time has passed, he makes it known that he is still convinced he murdered his wife and amazed that he hasn't found any evidence. he takes a seat and continues to taunt him which finally leads Frank to snap telling him to STFU and to get out of his house. Satisfied with riling him up he takes his smug ass out that damn door still convinced.
Out of the blue, with just a few days away from the 7 year mark since Mildred "missing" she waltzes back in the house which startles the hell out of Frank asking if she is out of her gosh darned mind.
She is not amused. In fact, she has not been amused for a very long time. She drops that bomb that she wants to drop the charade. SHE WANTS A DIVORCE!
Mildred is fed up and says she that not only has she made a new life for herself but also a new love that she wants to marry and she sure as fuck can't if she is declared dead and married to Frank. Her plan is for her to come back and claim amnesia and then she can just got the divorce rolling.
BAH!
He doesn't give a hoot. He big mad. He is soooo close to cashing in that $25,000 payout but Mildred is offering half of that, as that is how much she is able to save on her end. This pisses Frank off even more so he freaks the fuck out and has a mental break and in a swift motion, he actually kills his own wife. Then buries her body in the garden. Talk about self fulfilling prophecy.
It is now the morning, day of the court hearing of the 7th year anniversary of Mildred gone missing. Mr. Investigator meets him at his door and takes note of his garden that has gotten a recent...renovation. In fact, he says while Frank is at the court hearing, he will do him a solid and finish the rest of his garden to show how much of a bro he is. Frank damn well knows he can't do anything from stopping and now he can do nothing but watch him digging in the exact same spot he buried his wife.
Talk about "dying inside".