Freddy's Nightmares S1E6
Episode 6 "Saturday Night Special"
2 buddies are at a skating rink. One of the dudes, Gordon, is thirsting hardcore over one woman in particular just singing nothing but high praises of her. I know this was in the 80s but he definitely fits modern society's standards of a "simp" or just someone who holds someone over a pedastool and refers to her as a goddess. Literally what he is doing right now. The friend tries his best to tell him to lower his creeper radar. He reminded him that he asked her out twice which was the exact number of times she turned him down. Regardless, he is still obsessed with her.
And uh...she has a boyfriend!
The dude is disgusted that such a shady ass character like himself bagged such a goddess. Friends attemps to deter his distraction towards another pretty woman on the skating ring with some...liberating moves I may say. She actually waves at him but he has "standards" and claims she isn't his type. Da fuck.
He leaves the rink but right before he steps in his car, something catches his eye.
It entices him to head on inside to the merry ass glee of none other than Freddy Kruger.
So yes, this is a dating service that was actually quite popular for its time. This was a like prehistoric version of internet dating where a person IRL goes to a studio and sits in front of a camera with a recording of what they are looking for in a romantic partner so that is exactly what Gordon is doing right now.
The man behind the camera critiques his 1st runthrough as...idk BORING. So he tells him to lie and embellish if he wants to attract more women. I mean, he is a salesman for a living so he blurts out blatant lies like how rich he is and his fancy prestigious degrees. It's corny AF but the dating agent dude is like chill bro. Trust.
Gordy wakes up the next morning when holy crap the blond lady is flirty with him and straddling him like a typical man's fantasy. That's because it was lolz.
His alarms goes off and he wakes up for realz this time. His telephone rings and it's from a woman who was interested in his dating profile and got his number from the dating service. He ends up accepting a date invitation. Phone call ends on a lovely note but he doesn't seem to share the same level of excitement as her but whatever, right?
Come Saturday, he arrives to pick her up. A plain Jane woman answers the door and he looks a bit....uhhhh. Luckily for him, that is not the woman he is on the date with. She leads him to the couches when his real date comes out. Yowza she is quite the knockout.
She quickly asserts her dominance when she talks shit about his car. A little immasculating but whatever, right? She is pretty enough for him to let it slide.
Both arrive to the restaurant. She is quite the chatterbox but his eyes are fixated on the waitress whom is also a blond bombshell herself. He shows off in front of his date by speaking French to the hot waitress. The waitress teases him by passionately stroking the champagne bottle while making eye contact with him.
This sultry move gets humbled when the cork pops out of the bottle and gouges the waitresses eye out!
Sike, it was just a little hallucination of his. But the champagne spillage actually did happen and it stained the date's dress. Gordon tries to keep up his sophisticated facade with his rich speak and it seems to work. She is wooed up the ass. That's exactly what he is hoping to accomplish.
Another waitress comes by to slap a napkin on his lap. Aaaand what do ya know? It's yet another attractive woman who gives him "fuck me" eyes. This is when the date says that he is lucky that she is not the jealous type and that he's the type of guy any woman would KILL for. Right when she said that, a sentient cart comes plunging at her!
Sike, another hallucination. That's the running theme of this show if you haven't figured that out already.
Gordon and Mary move their date to another location to the aforementioned skating rink. She is revealed to be a seasoned skater so off she strolls on the rink. Holy shit, she ends up stripping some of her clothes all seductively. He is more than happy to pursue her on the skating rink.
When he reaches her, she teases him that he is probably nothing more than a playboy. A man who will readily use and abuse her and move on to another woman. He promises he's not that kind of man. She scoffs and says to chill his balls because "It's GAMETIME!"
She calls his bluff on his previous claims of athletic prowless but this takes him aback and this is when he starts to backtrack on everything he claims to be on the dating tape. He is seen being tied up to the goalie net while just spilling the beans how everything was a lie.
Oooohhhh she big mad!!!
Next switch of scene, completely not telling us either how he got untied but now how the crap he gots both his feets in an iceblock!!! The woman is happily showing his that cleany machine thingy that smooths the ice rink? Gordon squirms in pain and kersplat!!! He is a meat slushie.
Ummm wow?
Everything truly was in his imagination this whole time. Scene switches back to the parking lot where he is leering at the aforementioned Dating Service building but instead of the dating signage, it's actually labled as "Carnall's Meat Packing". While he was staring at it this whole time, a driver who wasn't looking where she was going, ends up running him over. Now he dedz for realsies.
Now that that segment is out of the way. Here is the 2nd half of the episode.
A couple is making out on the bed. During the makeout, the woman stops deadass and goes to look in the mirror. Except that it is no longer the brunett hot lady is banging on the mirror. It is revealed to actually be Mary, the woman who initially answered the door when Gordon came a-knocking.
She was daydreaming her own and I guess it triggered her while she was at work and she is seen banging on the fax copier machine thingy. Her roommate (which was Gordon's date that likely never happened???) she approaches her and tells her to cut her shit. In a nice way, of course.
A man butts in when Lana breaks a nail. She bats her pretty eyes so as his boss he lets her have the rest of the day off. It's clear he treats her much much better while when he turns his attention to he treats her with more contempt. Plain Jane problems...I feel ya, girl.
Glad we have a little intro from our neighborhood pal, Freddy.
Back at home, she is eating in bed when in walks in Lana strutting in her latest slut fit whilst making chit chat. She wants to unapologetically flaunt her body to the top. Speaking of which, she brings up that she has connections and knows a doctor who can beautify her. Think about it!
Some time later, both are at the clinic waiting room. Mary has her reservations but Lana says to trust this dude!
Sure enough, it's her turn when this doofus with a head of hair comes out. Seriously, he looks like a dork. Well, he takes her in and asks what kind of procedure she wants. All Mary says is that she wants to be beautiful. Confident in his ways, he gets to work.
He does like a full body makeover on her and it looks rather unorthodox to say the least. This man seems to be a jack of all trades because he is just doing procedures left and right from liposuction to rhinoplasty to straight up surgury! Is there anything this fella can't do?!
Out walks Mary in her new do. She looks hawt!b6w
She is speechless. Lana reveals that she set her up with a hot date. Only problem is I think it is with a top client.
Well....that is the date. She ends up hooking up with the old fart. Just like in the beginning of this segment.
Next day at work, Mary walks in which boss man is swooning over her immediately. The treatment has taken a drastic change. Pretty privileg, amirite? She is moved to a more comfortable position. Lana tosses her client off to Mary. His eyes light up the moment he lays eyes on her and whisks her away. Lana happy for her bestie.
While the 2 are hanging out, it is more clear how uncomfortable she is being. Not exactly sure why. Probably due to her beng stripped of her identity. The man starts undressing her and is revolted by the look of her chest.
It looks like a robot!
He shit talks the job itself but is surprisingly nice to her saying that he has contact should she want to sue whoever gave her that god aweful boob job. Mary looks in the mirror and sees a distorted version of her original face and proceeds to start hitting the mirror, just like the beginning of this segment.
He tells her to relax but of course, she does not in fact relax.
She loses her shit and starts hurling a lamp at the mirror until it cracks. In echoes Lana's words that once she is different that everything will be different. Mary don't like that shit so she continues to smash the mirror, breaking it into a million pieces.
Some time later, the same man is shown being handcuffed and taken away. Laying on the ground is Mary bloodied on the floor. Deader than a doornail.
After he gets taken away, police are gawking at how unattractive her corpse is. Dang bro.
Guest Starring: Shari Shattuck