Friday the 13th: The Series S1E3
Now: Episode 3 "Cupid's Quiver"
Cursed Object of the Week: Cupid of Malek statue
On a late night at a bar things look like a normal night out on the town. However, in the far corner is a man who has his eye on a woman nearby and tries to shoot his shot with her, despite sitting with another man. She turns down his advances and this creep doesn't take no for an answer. The man she is seen talking to stands up for her and tells the creep to buzz off. She takes the guy on the dance floor to assert her NO so that he'll finally get it.
He returns to his seat but still stares creepily at her. This is when he decides to bust out his cupid statue, aims it at her and PEW PEW gets her in the arm. He returns to her yet to cut in and right when the man is about to beat him up, the lady gets swooned. She pushes her man aside and throws herself right in his arms.
Uhhhh?
So yeah, they head to a hotel where they get jiggy with it. After their session she even says that she loves him! What does he do? Choke her. By some stroke of luck in busts the first guy (probably her boyfriend) along with a group of his own. One of them beelines for the cupid statue and presumably stealing it for himself.
Some time later, over at the shop, after a brief read through the newspaper detailing the aforementioned events, Micki asks Jack what he knows about the cupid statue (of Malek). Jack remineces how he got it in Cairo and the origin of the statue was commissioned in Italy back in 1453. In fact, it is said that Malek was so ugly that no woman could look at him without turning away and he got pretty upset. As an act of spite and vengeance to those who denied him any love he created the statue cast in his own image.
Micki takes a look at the Manifest #00729 to be exact. Cupid of Malek that was sold to a Frederick Mason but it was 4 years ago so who knows how many hands has switched over since. Jack takes the liberty of looking up the name in the clipped newspaper articles in a cabinet only to find Frederick didn't seem to like women either. He has been sentenced to death for the murders of 3 women.
These two head on over to the hotel listed in the newspaper article to ask the manager who confirms he saw the statue but can't recall it even being there by the end of the night due to all the ruckas. It all comes flooding back to him that he identifies that the group of men who helped the young lady was frat boys from a nearby university.
Ryan and Micki arrive on that university campus and luckily intercept a different kind of creep that is bugging another young woman named Laurie. It's getting to dangerous levels so good thing they arrived when they did. The young woman takes it upon herself to walk them to where the fraternity in question is located.
The creep's name is Eddie. He is sort of like a housekeeper but not at all affiliated with the frat. He enters one of the frat bro's rooms and it is then when he comes face to face with the cupid of Malek statue.
Both of them reach the house and one of the guys takes a liking to Micki and even invites her to the party tonight lolz. They original plan to confiscate it as it was at the scene of the crime falls through when the guy (who talks like a 30 year old btw) says unless they have a warrant there will be no cooperation.
Eddie slinks back in his hole, he does photography as a hobby in which he uses that as an excuse for his creep shots of Laurie. He is lingering at her pictures and then smiles like a maniac at the cupid statue.
It is night time time where Jack, Ryan and Micki discuss just how they are going to get the statue back from the frat house. The plan is that they will all attend the frat party.
For realz!
Jack is the bartender keeping a lookout while it gives time for Ryan and Micki to look in the house.
Eddie is also outside and sees Laurie kiss a guy so filled with raging lust, he tries the enter the party but the uptight frat douche that wouldn't cooperate earlier now won't cooperate with Eddie and bars him from the joint. He storms off and heads to the nearest bar to pick up another lady.
Random bar lady doesn't reciprocate one bit but once he busts out the statue and turns it towards her to PEW PEW the cycle repeats itself. They take off immediately.
Ryan and Micki end up finding the frat bro who originally stole the statue from the hotel room. When he realizes it's been stolen, he points the finger at Eddie since he caught him lingering at it just hours before. Ryan tells him not to worry about it, stay at the party and he will go track Eddie down.
Where is Eddie? You may ask?
Too busy shacking it up with the woman he picked up from the bar. After they get done with the dirty with his truck parked in the middle of nowhere, he steps out of the truck to take a wizz. Upon returning, he throws a bees hive in there and locks her in the truck and the poor lady gets stung to death while he watches with glee.
Back at the frat party the uptight frat bro is ranting to Jack, our bartender for the night, about his troubles. Sorry dude.
Ryan and Micki return as they just saw the weird fucking shrine Eddie had in his dreary living quarters and saw the developed pictures of Laurie. So with Jack quitting the job he was never hired to do goes with them to do some more investigating for Eddie while the duo try to find Laurie.
Jack quickly got some info from the nearby bar from a patron who overheard Eddie wanting to take the woman to a specific creek so off he goes. Aaaand what do ya know? Frat bro that stole the statue just so happens to be at the creek too lol. He really wants that statue back bro.
Not so far away, Eddie ends up finding Laurie but Ryan and Micki see them walking. Eddie makes a mad dash at the sight of them. Ryan pursues Eddie while Micki tries to talk some sense into the already infected Laurie. They retrieve the statue from Eddie. Woop. Woop.
Jack meets back up with them. I guess that creek wasn't so much in the middle of nowhere, eh? Anyway, from the all commotion, a security guard strolls on by and spots the statue and confiscates it from them as frat bro reported it stolen. Bummer.
While en route to the security office he crosses paths with Eddie who claims he is in fact the real owner. This security guy totally sucks because he buys that story and hands it back to Eddie. WTF YO.
Creaming his pants at how easy he got his statue back, he runs off to wence he came.
For Laurie's protection, the trio let her stay at the antique shop until it all blows over. She says she wants to head to bed but after Micki leaves the room, lovestruck Laurie ends up calling Eddie!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHH! She wants to go meet up with him since she can't get him out of her mind. K.
Out she sets to for their little rendezvouz and arrives to well whereever the fuck he lives it looks like a boiler room. Right when Eddie comes up behind her and Laurie turns...IT'S NOT LAURIE!
The group overhead the phone call off screen and concocted this plan to have Micki disguise as her. Eddie is pretty pissed and says this was meant for Laurie as a form of revenge since she previously made fun of him but now that he has to decided to change course to use on Micki instead.
Right when Jack and Ryan barge in to save the day, Eddie uses the statue to PEW PEW Micki so now Micki is lovestruck and throws herself at him as a body shield. Eddie is wielding an ex and randomly just swings the ax to puncture a pipe. Micki falls to the ground and fumes from the pipe blows fiercely and that gives Eddie some ample time to get a head start and start running. In the midst of the running, it turns out Eddie was the cause of his own demise. During his rampant running he trips and falls to his death.
Upon returning the statue in the vault at Curious Goods, they pat themselves on the back. Ryan tries to ask out Laurie in the morning she wakes but she politely declines as another stallion comes to pick her up. After she leaves, Ryan makes a morbid but lighthearted joke about using the cupid on her. Har har.
Special Guests Featured in This Episode:
Denis Forest as Eddie
Carolyn Dunn as Laurie
Episode 4 is next